


Overthinking It

by BlueMoonVonIdaho



Series: Snapshots from the Spiral [4]
Category: Pirate101 (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Here have an 800-word essay on why letting me read The Art of War was a bad idea, banditoads aren't known/hired for their brains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:00:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21867901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMoonVonIdaho/pseuds/BlueMoonVonIdaho
Summary: Inside jokes are hard enough to understand when theyaren'trelated to teachings you've never read.
Series: Snapshots from the Spiral [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1454962
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Overthinking It

“They got the captain!”

The Banditoads, sensing an advantage, rushed toward the little group of pirates. With their leader stunned by a well-aimed shot, none of them seemed sure what to do next.

“Don’t worry! I know what to do!”

The speaker, a grizzled Rat, swung his heavy cutlass in a wide arc that forced the nearest bandits back. “It’s time to depart with superior speed!”

The Banditoads might have been good shots who outnumbered their opponents, but they weren’t hired for their brains. By the time those who’d bothered to listen to the panicked shouting finished picking through the unnecessarily long words the Rat had used, the entire group had turned tail and fled toward the safety of Santo Pollo, leaving nothing but clouds of dust in their wake. A few of the braver Banditoads tried to follow, guns blazing. A round of terrifyingly accurate covering fire from the pirates’ gunner quickly persuaded them that it would be better for their health to let the group go.

For a long moment, the Banditoads simply stared. A few admired the swiftness and organization with which the pirates had fled—one had even paused to scoop up their fallen captain before turning tail. But most had something very different on their minds.

“Does this mean we can finish the card game now?”

* * *

“What does ‘depart’ mean?”

“It means ‘run away,’ stupid!” one of his _compadres_ grumbled from the corner where he was cleaning his gun.

“Oh.” Gamberro nodded and went back to staring at his cards. Quino had to be cheating, but this time he had four aces saying the joke was on him. He moved to lay the cards down. Then he stopped when another thought came to him. “Why didn’t they just say, ‘run away’?”

“Well, obviously, it’s because, uh…” Moco Verde frowned, trying to think of why they might have such an odd way of saying it. In his experience, “run away” was faster to say and a lot easier to understand. But they must have some reason for saying it like that. Besides, if he didn’t come up with an answer now, he’d look stupid in front of the rest of the gang. They’d all paused in what they were doing. Even Vinny, who never bothered to listen to anyone, was watching him out of the corner of one beady eye.

“All in,” Quino pushed a small stack of coins into the center of the table. The sound of metal sliding over wood was lost beneath Moco Verde’s fumbling.

Inspiration struck. “It’s a code!” He could see doubt on his _compadres’_ faces, but he’d look even more stupid if he backed down now. “They say it like that so people don’t think they’re afraid when they run.”

Gamberro nodded, a smile stretching across his warty face. Then his smile turned into a frown, and he shook his head. “But we already knew they were afraid. Otherwise, why would they run away?”

If the other Banditoads looked closely, they might have seen steam rising from beneath Moco Verde’s sombrero. “Because, stupid. Whey they say it like that, they make it sound like they’re running away on purpose.”

“We run away on purpose all the time.”

“I fold,” Vinny grunted. He dropped his cards onto the table, then leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. Anyone who didn’t know him well would assume he had fallen asleep.

Gamberro studied his fellow Banditoads, trying to figure out if any of them were bluffing. “All in,” he decided, pushing his own stack of coins to the center. He glanced over to the corner, where Moco Verde was staring off into space instead of cleaning his gun. “Just last week we ran away from El Toro on purpose.”

Several members of the gang winced at that. Most of them had come out of the encounter with great letter Ts cut into their ponchos, sombreros, or—in one unlucky case—the seats of their pants. There had been nothing dignified or organized about _that_ retreat.

“All in.”

“Yes, but they make running away look…” Moco Verde shook his head, as if it would shake loose the words to explain why the strange pirates ran away _better_ than they did. “Never mind. Stop asking stupid questions and play your cards.”

Gamberro dropped his cards onto the table and cackled gleefully when Quino’s eyes went big.

He might not know why those pirates needed to make their signal to retreat so complicated, but maybe he didn’t need to. After all, he mused as he gathered up his winnings, running away was running away. Even an idiot like him could understand that.

**Author's Note:**

> The call for retreat is part of a quotation from _The Art of War_ : "To achieve a withdrawal that cannot be pursued, depart with superior speed." Basically, "don't get caught by running away faster than the enemy."
> 
> And yes, the rest of the crew absolutely could have beaten the banditoads, but their captain doesn't go down very often and they didn't want to risk something worse happening if they stayed and tried to finish the fight.


End file.
